ugh

i miss writing so much, i really should get back to it. i don't want to writ unless it's for one thing, God. I don't know why i sometimes lack the "divine inspiration" to write, but i guess rants like this are just as good.


I was planning on going to my cabin this weekend, but due to the insane storm that was coming (with blizzard warnings and all) I decided to bail out and plan on next weekend. but the lame thing is, when i asked Matt, my youth leader pastor guy, if it was ok that we go, he said it wasn't and that we shouldn't. but when i asked him "what if my Dad comes along?" he said, well i don't know. that's up to your dad i guess, because it's under his jurisdiction and he doesn't want to interfere with my dad's parenting. i guess i'm just way confused because it's my dad's jurisdiction in the first place if we can even go... so...

i called my dad that night and talked to him, my dad was like go, you'll be fine. I don't have a problem with it and that's all that really matters. and i guess he's right, but i don't know. i still had an urk-y feeling about it in my gut. i just don't understand why adults can't go up to a cabin to go snowboarding. I think he might have misunderstood or something and thought that we were just strictly going up there to hang out, not to go snowboarding or anything. but still, he said it's putting yourself in a situation. I completely understand though, yet i completely disagree. he also said that we are to "flee all appearances of evil" which is biblical but i just don't understand how there is room for judgment when you say your going with a bunch of friends to snowboard for the weekend.

i understand the whole separate guys and girls. and i know that there is a possibility that something back and sinful will happen, but there is also a possibility that i could go and sin right now. how is the location change any different?


oh Jesus... help me...



i don't see the wrong in it. I wasn't even going to ask matt in the first place but josiah insisted that i talk with him before i leave.

now that this whole thing is going on, matt and siobahn want to meet with josiah and i when they get back from texas next week. I just hope to GOD that i can get one simple snowboarding trip in before i have to hammer myself into the ground when school starts up again... i need some sort of vacation...


but i guess that's to big of a sin. =/