Contemporary Christian music.
Ya, my sentiments exactly. Everything that those words stand for make me sick to my stomach.
I've been trying to be a good little Christian and listen to the radio stations and cd's, but I can't do it anymore. There is something that gets under my skin when I think about the genre.
"But what about all those worship songs you sing in church, aren't those all from those albums?"
You're right. They are. But even worship songs piss me off. There is a fire in the pit of my belly that cannot be quenched by anything but pure, unedited worship. I don't care if it's someone singing in a corner, out of tune and without electric guitar. Give me that over a $15,000 set up any day.
There is something so heart breaking about watching a soul go after the heart of God. Pure and true. The most intense moments I've had before the Throne of God have been sitting on a log on the beach, singing, "I love you, Lord" over and over till I'm sobbing like a toddler in Poppa's arms.
So why do we have all this set up and get up? Why the lights and the guitars? Ya, it sounds great, but really? Don't throw the excuse of "new believers" around either.
If a soul is ripe and ready, if the seed planted is bursting at the seams, it will find the Water to quench it's thirst. It will hear the Call and it will know it's Creator.
It is not our job to dictate whether or not a soul is ready, but it is our duty as believers to be the hands and feet, the eyes the elbows the ears that sit, wait, listen and obey when He says, "Go."
Yesterday, I was listening to the Kim Walker Pandora radio station at work and stumbled upon a website that held images representing the last century. I broke down and started crying at my desk. There was a sickness that started in the bottom of my stomach. Immediately, the feeling of disgust and rage took over and I couldn't believe how people pay to go to conferences and to workshops and colleges and universities where they can learn about this that and the other when others are simply trying to live.
"Blessed are the weak, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven," has never rung more true than at these moments in time.
Last time I checked, Paul was transformed not through a school of thought, but on the side of a road with a vision. Last time I checked, Christ said, be weary of religion and scorned against the pharisees, skipping class to have dinner with the prostitutes and gang bangers of the day. So, why are we trying to save the rich young rulers when they turned away Jesus' proposition? I curse the day that I was born in this country. I wish I was born in a hole on the Australian outback. That way, I would have nothing to do but expect God to fork over the Manna every morning at my doorstep.
To truly show His love, I believe we must be broken. How can a vase be made of hard, stubborn dried up clay? We have to be soaked and broken in order to be molded again.
I've got to go back to the beginning, to unteach myself from the screwed up ways I am all to comfortable with.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Parting is such sweet sorrow - R&J
Wow, it has been a while.
So much has happened since the last time I posted but I am glad to say that I am getting back on the blog bandwagon. Promise I'll do at least bi-monthly posts.
There has been a lot that has been going on, hence the lack of posting, so I'll pick this past weekend to speak about and the rest will come later.
This past weekend, I took my last trip to Indianapolis for my last National Student-Athlete Advisory Committee (SAAC) meeting in which I was one of 31 representatives, representing the student-athletes of the Big Sky Conference in which Sacramento State competes in.
The weekend was, to say the least, interesting. It was so extremely bittersweet to meet all these wonderful new representatives from different conferences and say my goodbyes to everyone. Of course, I sobbed like a little baby, but this committee has weened me off milk and gave me a big juicy steak to satisfy my professional career's appetite.
It has helped propel me to walk out of the tunnel of graduations ambiguity and onto the open road of the worlds endless career options. All the liaisons to the committee and members of SAAC have been with me through nine bumpy, pot-holed forks in the road, nine meetings filled with heated debates, plenty of piggy backing and plenty of embarrassing moments when we, or maybe just me, got it wrong.
During my time on the committee, I walked through the end of my collegiate rowing career, the start of a new job at the conference in which I was commissioned to represent, the engagement to the love of my life, the move from everything that was familiar in California to the foreign land of Utah, and three deaths in my family that affected me beyond measure.
The amount of growth that was experienced both during those nine meetings and just during the two years time serving the committee will be a time marked with nostalgia and filed away under the "Golden Years" in my memory. It's a time of my life I will be telling my grand kids about around the campfire and common ground I will share with the members of the committee.
The weightiness and importance of this committee will be the common ground in which I will meet it's members, my friends, upon time and time again. The "Remember when..." 's will ring true for years to come.
From NCAA office in Indianapolis, all those room keys from the Westin to Denver, to Atlanta to Washington DC the day before the first black US President's swearing in.. All the NCAA rules and regulations we learned of and all of the acronyms we had to learn. All the interesting people who came to us for our opinions, the first time I realized the NCAA really truly stood up to it's word to serve student athletes, and the two times we lost to DIII in kickball in July (which I'm expecting the new members to win next year..)
Every memory has been put in it's place. Every friendship cherished. Every late night text message. Every meeting's new challenges. Every game of hot seat, every joke and every piece of hot topic legislation discussed. All of it summed up into one great experience. All of it something I will remember years from now.
"Memories are the treasures that we keep locked deep within the storehouse of our souls, to keep our hearts warm when we are lonely," - Becky Aligada
So much has happened since the last time I posted but I am glad to say that I am getting back on the blog bandwagon. Promise I'll do at least bi-monthly posts.
There has been a lot that has been going on, hence the lack of posting, so I'll pick this past weekend to speak about and the rest will come later.
This past weekend, I took my last trip to Indianapolis for my last National Student-Athlete Advisory Committee (SAAC) meeting in which I was one of 31 representatives, representing the student-athletes of the Big Sky Conference in which Sacramento State competes in.
The weekend was, to say the least, interesting. It was so extremely bittersweet to meet all these wonderful new representatives from different conferences and say my goodbyes to everyone. Of course, I sobbed like a little baby, but this committee has weened me off milk and gave me a big juicy steak to satisfy my professional career's appetite.
It has helped propel me to walk out of the tunnel of graduations ambiguity and onto the open road of the worlds endless career options. All the liaisons to the committee and members of SAAC have been with me through nine bumpy, pot-holed forks in the road, nine meetings filled with heated debates, plenty of piggy backing and plenty of embarrassing moments when we, or maybe just me, got it wrong.
During my time on the committee, I walked through the end of my collegiate rowing career, the start of a new job at the conference in which I was commissioned to represent, the engagement to the love of my life, the move from everything that was familiar in California to the foreign land of Utah, and three deaths in my family that affected me beyond measure.
The amount of growth that was experienced both during those nine meetings and just during the two years time serving the committee will be a time marked with nostalgia and filed away under the "Golden Years" in my memory. It's a time of my life I will be telling my grand kids about around the campfire and common ground I will share with the members of the committee.
The weightiness and importance of this committee will be the common ground in which I will meet it's members, my friends, upon time and time again. The "Remember when..." 's will ring true for years to come.
From NCAA office in Indianapolis, all those room keys from the Westin to Denver, to Atlanta to Washington DC the day before the first black US President's swearing in.. All the NCAA rules and regulations we learned of and all of the acronyms we had to learn. All the interesting people who came to us for our opinions, the first time I realized the NCAA really truly stood up to it's word to serve student athletes, and the two times we lost to DIII in kickball in July (which I'm expecting the new members to win next year..)
Every memory has been put in it's place. Every friendship cherished. Every late night text message. Every meeting's new challenges. Every game of hot seat, every joke and every piece of hot topic legislation discussed. All of it summed up into one great experience. All of it something I will remember years from now.
"Memories are the treasures that we keep locked deep within the storehouse of our souls, to keep our hearts warm when we are lonely," - Becky Aligada
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